Counting the days
by My sleepy weeping willow
Summary: Josephine 'Joey' Hastings is counting the days till she graduates and leaves everything behind. With nothing going right in her life Joey is on the verge of exploding. will she make it through high school in one piece or is her inner bomb starting to tick? Rated T for safety. I don't own anything but plot and Joey.
1. Chapter 1

I looked out the window of my My brother Stevens truck and watched the scenery pass by us. I sighed and closed my tired eyes. A couple minutes later I felt the car stop and I opened my eyes. I saw the school out front of us and started getting my bag. Lot of students were already making their way towards the school. Some girls walked in bunches and smiled at each other or giggled at something they said. Guys where slapping each other's back and saying hello. I grabbed my back and opened the rusty door. Just as I was getting out my brother cleared his throat I looked over at him and blinked

"Have a good day at school today alright champ" he said not looking at me but looking straight ahead. He started lighting up a cigarette.

"Ya alright" I mumbled

I got out of the car and started heading out towards the school. One would think he said that to me just out of common courtesy. But I knew the real reason. He was just being nice after what happened this morning. He knew how much I hated it when he and my old man would get into their stupid fights

"_Why couldn't you be like your sister and stay in school huh Steven!"_

_"It just ain't for me alright pops!"_

_"Well it seems like nothing's right for you! You good for nothing retard! All you ever do is waste time with those good for nothing greasers. Can't you make something out of your life for once!"_

_I could hear my brother scoff _

_"Screw you dad at least I take care of her while all you do is get drunk and and lay on the couch all day!"_

_I heard the sound of skin hitting skin and I cringed _

_"Don't you dare talk to me like that boy! I am your father and you will respect me!" _

_"Piss off! Come on Joe get in the truck I'm takin you to school"_

_I looked up from my cereal and saw Steven walk out the door with a red mark on his cheek._

I awoke from my flashback of this morning and realized I was already at my locker. I must have been standing there for sometime because I looked around and saw some girls snicker at me. A kid my my locker just looked at me oddly.

I fumbled with the lock hoping it would open because I was going to be late for my class. Realizing it was a useless cause I left it and ran to my class, jacket and everything, before the bell rang. When I got to the room I was 5 seconds and got a scolding from the teacher and slid into the nearest empty seat. _Today is just gonna be great_ I thought to myself sarcastically.


	2. Chapter 2

My classes flew by with a blur. I'm pretty sure I didn't even hear a single word some of my teachers said. I slept most of the time or I ended up daydreaming about making a run from this old town. I didn't really have a lot of friends so it didn't really so I didn't help my "sleeping in class" problem.

Since it was nice outside I decided to eat outside during lunch. I grabbed my bag and sneaked my way out the of the schools doors in the back is unguarded so it's kinda easy to get out. The rusty squeaked a little making me panic for moment fearing that someone heard me. When I realized no one did I went out and went to my usual spot under a tree behind the school.

When I got there I took out an apple from my bag and started munching on it. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the nice weather. I felt wavy brown hair brush my skin. It was being moved from the cool breeze. I waited five minutes before I heard the door open and turned to see my best friend Linda walk out. When she saw me I smiled and waved at her. She returned the action and sat crossed legged next to me.

We both enjoyed the weather and stared into the abyss lost In our own thoughts before she decided to break the silence. "Ya know, Joey... I still don't understand why ya gotta sit out here when you're totally welcome to sit with me and my friends." Linda said. I cringed thinking about how Oblivious Linda could be sometimes. She didn't see the looks I go from her friends when I decided to sit next to her during lunch.

She looked at me as another breeze came. her shoulder length blonde curls flew gently away from her pale skin. Linda was very pretty and already had 2 boy friends science freshman year. She had pale blue eyes, natural rosy cheeks and light freckles across the bridge of her small nose and the tops of her cheeks. She was expecting an answer and I didn't feel like getting into an argue kent with her. I shrugged not looking at her. Al she did was sigh and look away. "The weathers real nice today dontcha think Linda." From the corner of my eye I could tell she nodded her head. Sometimes I felt like Linda was getting real tired of me. I didn't blame her, even I was getting real tired of me. I met her in fourth grade when she moved to Tulsa and sat next to me in class. She stuck out her hand and said in a weird accent, "hi! I'm Linda, let's be friends." She had a huge toothy grin when she said that. I didn't even have time to think about her offer when she started pulling my hand during recess and pushed me on The swing.

"Theres a party at Randell's tonight." She said suddenly breaking me out of my thoughts. Randell was her current boyfriend and I didn't think it was gonna last. The boy was nice and all but I knew it wouldn't last. During the second month if their relationship Linda was already complaining about how cocky and boring he was. Randell was considered a Soc's and he was on the high schools football team. I couldn't help but dislike him a little mostly because my brother would hang with some of greasers. Steven wasn't really part of their group but he hung out with them a lot. I knew one of the boys from the group because he was on one of my classes. I think his name was Ponyboy, ya that's it.

"Are you gonna go" I asked knowing the answer very well. "I mean... I don't really have much of a choice." She said. I thought I hinted a little bit of sadness. Being the girl friend of a Soc meant a lot in our school. It meant you had class and a reputation to keep. I could see how stressful it was becoming to her. "You should come Joey" she said, "it'll be fun!" I looked over at her and saw a slight pleading in her eyes. "Aw come on Linda ya know how much I dislike those things!" They were dumb and stupid. Just a buncha hormones teens tryin to "get some" with alcohol and loud music.

"Oh please Joey"

"No"

"Please!"

"No!"

"Why" she whined. Before I could tell her the answer I tell her a billion times the bell went of telling us to go back inside and go to our class rooms. I grabbed my bag and threw the apple core to the nearest trash can. As we walked inside she huffed at me and gave me an angry look. "One of these day Josephine Hunter, one if these days" I laughed and we parted ways. I went to my next class and sat down in my usual desk. It was Math... My favorite class. As I set down I felt someone walk past me. I looked over and saw Ponyboy. He was real smart for his age. He was two years younger that me but we was in the same class. I smiled at him and he smiled back. We didn't talk much but we knew each other. Sometimes when Steven hung out with the greasers I would tag along. Ponyboy was nice so I would talk to him. Other then that it was just smiles. "Hi Ponyboy how are ya" I told him him with a smile. "I'm fine thanks Joey" he said. I nodded and turned back around.


	3. Chapter 3

After my last period I headed straight for the doors. I really don't have anybody to talk to except for Linda. We usually meet at my locker cuz it's closer to the front doors but seeing that my locker was being a piece of shit this morning, there was not point in going. Plus her boyfriend Randell is giving her a ride home.

Besides a couple waves to some people I kinda know, I keep my head down, walk out the school doors and down the steps. When I look up a see a familiar face and I feel my heart skip a beat. His chocolate brown eyes look kind and soft and he waves at me when he sees me. He's leaning against his rusty truck with his arms crossed. I wave back to him and smile, But just as soon as I see him , there's already a flock of girls around him purring his name.

_"Hi Sodapop"_

_"Sodapop hi"_

_"Whatcha doin here Soda_

_"Why dontcha come back to school Soda" _ some girl fake pouts

_"Are ya gonna be at the DX today?_

_Stupid girl, he's always at the DX_, I thought to myself. I put my head back down and start making my way to the end of the street to look for my brother. Besides Pony, I also talk to Sodapop mostly cuz' my brother works at the DX with him. Sodas a real nice boy. He talks to me sweet and it makes me feel like I got butterflies in my stomach or somethin'. Especially when he smiles at me. Now don't get me wrong, I ain't no girly girl or nothin', but even I become a sucker for his oscar winning smiles.

Usually my brother gives me a ride and takes me to the DX first until he's done for the day. I hang there and talk with him or Soda. Sometimes Steve but he's always workin and he ain't to nice. Then we go back to the horror that we call home. Sometimes I wish I could just spend the day talking with Soda then going home.

"Joey wait!" I hear a familiar voice call me. I turn around and see Soda running towards me with a relieved expression on his face. Maybe cuz' of all the girls who literally wanna breath the same air he's breathin'. I stop and wait for him. When he gets to me he rubs his neck and says " Your brother Steven got held up a bit at work today so he asked me to give you a ride. I thought I might as well make use of the opportunity and give Pony a ride too ya know. More safer I guess." It is more safer. Especially when the Soc's are starting to pick more fights with greasers like Soda and Pony.

Just last week Pony got jumped for walking back from the movies alone. Good thing the gang heard his shouts and came just in time. Just on time... Who knows what would've happened if they didn't "Ya ok, that's alright" I tell soda and we start to make way to his truck. I look and see the girls giving me nasty looks and walk away. But not until they wave flirtatiously goodbye to soda. I hunch my shoulders a bit and look to the floor hoping I shrink to nothingness and disappear from the wrath of _Sodapop groupies_. When I get in Soda said he was gonna go look for Pony and left.

When Pony gets in the truck and looks at me and gives a shy small smile at me. "Hi again Joey" he says "hiya Pony" I smile back. He sits on the other side of me putting me in the middle. Soda gets in the truck and starts it. "You hitching a ride" he says " you betcha, Steven couldn't make" he nods and turns his attention to a book on his lap.

"Hey Joey" Soda says suddenly. "I know this ain't none of my business n' stuff, but I was just wondering what happened to Steven this morning" I tense up and look straight ahead. "What do ya mean Soda" I chuckle to hide my nervousness. "Well ya see Steven came in to work with this nasty lookin bruise on his cheek and said he just slipped and hit his cheek on the counter this mornin' in the kitchen. But the whole day he was was just really out of it. That's why he got caught behind work today. It must have been more then a slip if it means him acting up"

I could feel Pony tense a little next to me and pretend to read his book trying not to listen. It wasn't none of his business. Neither was it for Soda. I know he got good intentions but nobody can know about what goes on at home. Its to mortifying and humiliating. "He probably didn't get much sleep last night". I lie "You see he likes to go to Jays a lot and probably got wasted" I chuckle nervously hoping he believed it. I'm 99.9% sure he didn't but didn't do nothing about it. "Well you should tell him it's not the best idea to get wasted on work nights. But I don't mind if it means picking up pretty girls like you" he smirks. I feel my face and neck heat up profusely and nudge him on the side. "Oh stop it you big goof" he chuckles and nudges me back. Ponyboy still keeps his head down "reading" his book but I don't fail to notice the small smirk on his face.


	4. Chapter 4

When we get to the DX I see Steven working on a blue corvette and whistled. That's a nice car Pony says. He then jumps out the truck and into the store to buy a coke. Soda then goes to my side and helps me out. I blushed a bit when our hands touched and thanked him. I walked over to where my brother was and sighed softly. I couldn't help but cringe at the bruise on his cheek. Soda was right. It was a nasty looking thing.

"Hi Steven" I said. He looks up from the car and smiles at me.

"Hey Joe" he said then looked behind me and nodded to Soda as a thanks.

"How was school today" he asks me. "The same " mumbled, while kicking some ruble. I looked up at him and nodded my head towards his cheek." Did'ya put ice on that". He puts his head down and starts fiddling with the tool in his hand. "No. I didn't have time" he says. I sigh and walk towards the DX convenient store. The bell on the door jingled at my arrival. Soda pop looked at me and smiled. "Hey soda, d'ya know where I can get some ice." He hops across the counter and disappears for a sec. He pops his head from behind an aisle of chips and asks "how much ice?". "Just a little bag" I say.

He comes back and gives me the bag of ice. "What'dya need it for you" he asks. I shake the bag and smirk. "Steven never put ice on his cheek to help the swelling. Real smart right?" Sodapop chuckles and shakes his head. "I told him to get some but he said he'd do it later" I sigh and bite the inside of my cheek. "Guess he had a lot on his mind" I say. "Ya guess so" he says. I look at him and smile. "Well, thanks soda. How much?" I start to pull money from my bag. "Aw c'mon Joey I ain't gonna charge you for a small bag of ice. What type of a gentlemen would I be!" He taps my nose. I laugh and say "not a great one for sure."

The bell on the door jingles and I hear a bunch of giggles behind me. I turn around and see a bunch of girls from my school. I recognize some from when soda was gonna give me a ride. Mostly cuz of the glares on their snotty faces. It was almost as if they were saying what the hell are you still doing here.

"_Hiya soda"_ one of them say.

"_You going to Randells party tonight?" _

One literally pushes me a side and and says

"You should come. I hear it's gonna be real fun" she blows a bubble from her gum and pops it while smiling at him

One girl puts her arm on his shoulder. _Jeez they ain't even givin the boy air to breath! _I scoff and shake my head

"_Why don't you come with me?"_ She bats her eyelashes

"You got something in your eye or what!" I mentally sneer to myself. The girl whips her head in my direction and has her mouth to the floor. I look and see the the other girls givin' me this look of pure hatred and I realize... I said that out loud. "Oh shit" I mumble. Soda starts laughing hysterically and I make a beeline out the store before I make a bigger fool outa myself. I give the ice to Steven and he thanks me. We sit on a bench while he presses the already melting bag of ice to his cheek. "Why ya so red Joe" he says giving me this funny look. I touch my face and neck and my eyes go big. They where both really hot. _I bet I look like a tomato_. I close my eyes and groan and lay the back of my head on the bench. So much for not making a fool out of myself. I hear Steven chuckle and feel him shake his head.

I open the door to my home only to find my dad snoring on the couch with a bunch of beer cans scattered across the floor. The T.V was still on so I go and turn it off. "What do you want for Dinner joe?" I hear Steven shout out to me from the kitchen. "Whatever you make is fine" I tell him. My brothers a real good cook. He makes the most delicious meals ever. I go to the kitchen and grab a chair to sit on. Our kitchen isn't much. It's not to small but big enough to fit at least five people. On one side is the stove, sink, cabinets and microwave. And on the other is a small window looking out to our front yard. Under the window is a brown table with four chairs around it. One side of the table was against the wall.

"Did you finish your homework" he asks while chopping some potatoes. His back is to me." Ya I finished it at the DX in your truck" I tell him. I grab a chunk of my hair and start looking for some split ends. "Why in the truck. It must've been hot" he says. " I opened the windows so I was alright. Plus it's quiet" and I don't have to worry about soda seeing my beet red face. I don't tell him that. He puts the potatoes on a pan on the stove and starts cooking them. they start making a sizzling sound and it starts to smell real good. I could feel my stomach rumbling in anticipation of the delicious meal he's gonna make. He grabs other stuff and puts it in the pan.

Linda has this huge crush on my brother Steven. When I first introduced her to him she would talk non stop about how handsome and great he is. Now that we grew up she claims she is over him especially because she got Randell, but I don't fail to notice the blush on her face every time he talks to her or says hi. Steven know about the obvious crush Linda has for him but he doesn't make fun of her about it. He just treats her sweet and nice. That's just the great guy my brother is.

"There's a party at Linda's Boyfriends tonight"I say. "His name is Randell." I see Steven tense up and stop what he was doing. "Oh" he says. I snicker, "oh don't worry Steven I'm not going. Just wanted to say that's all. I don't plan on going to a party any time soon" Steven relaxes a bit and continues what he was doing. " I know it's just..." He sighs and turns around. He looks at me. His green eyes looked sad, and he has bags under his eyes. "I just don't want you to turn into one of those kids y'know", "I wanna know that your safe and not risking your life or something" I sigh and grab two plates from the cabinet. "Don't worry Steven, being with those kids just ain't my-" before I could finish I felt myself tripping over a chair. Next thing I know I'm on the floor with a big CRASH.

"JOEY!" My brother exclaims and grabs my arm and helps me up. "Aw jeez Joey you gotta be more careful!" He says. I brush myself off and look at the floor with shame. When I fell I dropped the two plates and they shattered everywhere.

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL WAS THAT!" I hear a voice boom. I look up to see my dad storming in the kitchen. His face is red and twisted into a snarl and his eyes look crazed. I know that look. That look means too take cover and hide from him. "It was nothing pops really, I wanted to grab some plates for dinner but my fingers where to greasy from the potatoes so I accidentally dropped them" I look up at my brother with wide eyes. He took the blame for me! Is he crazy! Doesn't he know he'll just get a beating! My dad scoffs and says "not only do you wake me up from my nap, but you also make a huge fucking mess!"

Before anybody could react he slaps my brother with his hand making him stumble a bit. "NO STOP IT!" I yell and push my dad away. "What the fuck did you say to me you little bitch" he snarls. I start shaking with fear at what I just did. "I'm sorry dad! really I didn't mean it!" My voice cracks and I could feel my eyes start to water a bit. His hand connects with my face making a loud SLAP. I fall to ground but I'm quickly yanked back up. He slams me to the wall and spits in my face. " you better fucking watch what your doing next time girl!" He raises his hand to slap me again and I close my eyes. I wait for the impact but I never feel it. I open my eyes to see my brother push my dad away from me.

"You better leave her alone dad! She didn't do nothing!" My brother is fuming with anger "Joey! Get outta here!" He shouts to me. I don't want to leave my brother her alone. It's not fair or right! My dad punches my brother and he stumbles again. Steven grabs hold of the sink so he doesn't fall. His lip has parted and there blood drooling down his jaw. "You shut your darn mouth boy!" He looks and points to me." And don't you dare leave Joey! It's time you see real punishment!" My dad punches my brother again. I scream out Stevens name and start sobbing. I pull my dad's shirt trying to get him away. My dad just elbows me in the face hitting me in the nose and mouth. I feel something trickle down my nose. I touch my mouth and see blood. "Joey! I said get outta here!" My brothers yells to me. But I don't here the rest. Im already out the door and running into the darkness of the night.


	5. Chapter 5

"_Oh fuck, oh fuck, what am I doing here_" I think to myself. I was cold and shaking like a leaf. Maybe it was because It was freezing at night. Or I was scared to the bone. Yes... It was because I was was blurry and all I remember was running out the door from my house and going nowhere. I felt tears run down my face freely and I did nothing about it. I shouldn't be walking these streets, especially at night. Because I lived on the east side of town I know what happens to people who walk alone, especially at night. _What if I get jumped? What if I get lost and never find my way home? What if I get kidnapped? What if someone ki-_ I choked and thought I was best if I don't finish my thought. More tears start falling on my face but I kept walking.

"I want to go home" I whimper softly . But at the moment I knew it wasn't an option. Unless I wanted to get a good beating from dad like Steven is getting there was nothing for me to do but keep walking. He took the blame for me. Because of my clumsiness and stupidness Steven is getting beat to the pulp by dad and I can't do nothing about it. I started whimpering and crying even harder. "Shut up" I scold myself but I can't. I know if I don't stop someone will hear me and I don't know what'll happen if they do. I don't exactly know where I'm going because it's dark. Nothing looks familiar. It doesn't help control my shaking and fear.

Suddenly, I hear some footsteps behind me and my heart skips a beat. Oh no I think to myself terrified. the footsteps get louder and closer. My hands start shaking uncontrollably and my breathing gets shaky and louder. I walk a little faster hopping who ever is behind me leaves me alone. But they follow my pace and don't stop. I finally look behind me and immediately wish I didn't. There was a group of four or five greasers with a look of pure evil and malice on their faces. They were the predator looking for they're prey and at this moment, It was me. They were much closer than I thought they would be and I let out a small whimper. It seemed as though my cry was a form of weakness and "_inspiration_" and they're strides got longer.

I didn't hesitate to think twice and broke out in a full sprint. They didn't stop and started yelling and running after me.

_C'mere kitty kitty! We just wanna play!_

_Aw c'mon baby don't you wanna have a little bit of fun!_

I could hear they're snickers behind me and I started running faster. My vision was getting blurry from all the tears in my eyes and I felt and tripp over a rock and fall face first to the ground. I quickly scrambled up and started to run but I felt myself being yanked from my collar into a pair of strong arms. He wrapped his hand around my neck and licked my ear.

"NO STOP PLEASE! HELP ME SOMEONE!" I screamed with all my might. I started sobbing uncontrollably when he pulled a pocket knife to my neck. "Shhhhhh shhhhh c'mon baby" he whispered maliciously into my ear. I started kicking and screaming hoping someone with good will would hear and help. Nothing. I struggled to free myself from his grasp but I was to weak. It was pointless. Useless.

There was nothing I could do. I started to cry even harder. I needed to think of something quick. I kicked him in the shin and he let go to grab himself. "Son of a!" I started running but someone else grabbed me. They threw me to the ground and got on top of me. I looked up at him and saw his face. He had foul smile on his face. His black hair was greased back and he had a scar on the side of his face running down his cheek. I started crying out loud and screaming for help while beating his chest to get of me. But he punched me in the face and yelled for me to shut up. I saw stars for a moment and then things started turning black. _So this is it._ I thought to myself. _This is how I die. _I felt myself starting to lose conscious when I heard some yelling and shouting. I heard punches and yelps of pain but I didn't care. _Cruel world_, was my last thought before everything went black

* * *

"_So tell me exactly what happened!" _

_"I'm telling ya Darry! two-bit, Pony, and Steve, and I was walking from the movies when we heard yelling and screams of pain and help""Steve told me to leave it alone cuz it was none of my business but I recognized the voice of a girl. The voice became more familiar and I realized it was Stevens baby sister!" _

_"I couldn't just leave her there! Steven would have me by the neck! Plus he was already out of it today and I didn't want him to have another reason tomorrow to fall behind work again!"_

_"When we got there, some guy was over her limp body and well... Let's just. Say we had a good fight"_

I slowly started opening my eyes and groaned at the blinding light.

"She's up!" Someone yelled when I fully opened my eyes I saw a pair of five eyes looking expectingly at me. I immediately recognized them as the greasers my brother hung out with.

"Joey!" Soda said. He went by my side and helped my get up. "Whe-where am I" I asked softly. I barely recognized my own voice it was so scratchy and my throat was dry from all the screaming and yelling. My head started pounding and I crumpled back on the couch. "Oww" I groaned and pressed my hand against my head. "Someone get her some ice and water" a familiar voice ordered. I looked up and saw Darry looking at me with worried eyes. Ponyboy was next to Soda with his arms crossed and the same expression as Darry.

Two bit came back with a ice pack and a glass of water. I thanked him and drank the glass of water gratefully. When I finished Soda took the glass from me and walked to what I guess was the kitchen. I put the ice pack to my head and winced at the pain.

"You got knocked up real good there Joey" Soda said pointing to my head. He gave me a mirror and I looked at myself. I gasped when I saw a long cut on my neck and a bruise on my face. My face was dirty and tear streaked and All the memories came back like a dam being broken. I immediately felt the tears threatening to spill in the corners of my eyes. My lip started trembling and my hands started shaking. "Aw Joey it's gonna be alright. Don't cry" Soda wrapped his hands around me and hugged me. I tensed up a bit not used to "human affection/embrace" but I relaxed and started to cry. He rubbed my back and murmured sweet thing to my ear.

When I finally calmed down I pulled away and brushed my tears away. "I'm sorry Soda, I don't know what came over me. I don't cry a lot but I couldn't help myself" I apologize "don't blame yourself Joey! You just got jumped, it's probably just after shock, it ain't your fault" he said softly. "Where am I" I asked again. This time Ponyboy answered. "Your at our house Joey. When we found you, you were just a block away."

"Just a block away" I murmured to myself. That meant that if I wasn't anywhere close to when I got jumped... I closed my eyes and clenched my hands. No, don't think about it. "Thank you" I say softly and looked up to everyone. Two-bit had a cut on his cheek, Ponyboy had a bruise on his arm, Soda had a cut on top of his eyebrow and Steve had what looked to be a bloody nose once. "Thank you for saving me, all of you" I truly meant it, from the bottom of my heart. "Ya well what was a girl like you doing walking alone at night on this side of town" Steve scolded me. I didn't say anything. I couldn't tell them the real reason! How could I! "I... Uh... Er... I wanted some fresh air?" I lied sheepishly. It was the worst lie ever.

"Joey, you don't even live close to here." Soda said. I looked at him and I knew he saw straight through my lie like glass. I sighed and looked at my lap in shame. "I'm sorry" I said softly. I felt real bad for lying. Especially to Soda. He was a real nice kid and didn't deserve that. "Where you runnin'" Two bit asked suddenly. "No" I said still looking down" I don't really got no reason to run"I said. It got silent with everyone trying to figure out what I was the heck I was doing out at night alone. Darry must've guessed how uncomfortable I was with the situations cuz he said broke the silence and said " alright guys c'mon give her some space. Joey, do you need a ride home?" He directed his attention to me. I quickly snapped my head up with eyes wide with fear and yelled "No!" Quickly realizing my mistake I slapped my hand over my mouth and tried to think of an excuse to my outburst. I started blushing. "I...I...I..." It was useless. I guess I had no option but to go home. I got up and said "Alright Darry I guess I-" "she can stay here tonight!" Soda suddenly said. I looked over at him with big surprised eyes. "What?" I asked. Soda wants me to stay at his house tonight! "if you don't wanna go home tonight you can stay here, we'll bring you back tomorrow when I go to work at the DX. Steven and I both have the shame shift anyway. Plus it's a Saturday so you ain't got school" he was smiling at me with twinkling brown eyes.

"I...uh... I don't know Soda. I don't want to be a bother" I said sadly "Joey, I think that if you don't want to go home you don't have to go home" Darry said. I liked him because he was like the father I never had. He was around the same age as Steven, but Steven was my brother. I couldn't see him as my Dad. "Really?" I asked with hope in my eyes. "Sure" Two-bit suddenly said and threw and arm over my shoulder "never give up an opportunity to sleep with a pretty girl" he said with a goofy smile and tapped my nose. Soda punched him in the arm and said "Two-bit this ain't even your house! And ain't nobody sleeping with Joey but me!" He said. Two-bit started cackling at what he said and Soda started blushing like mad. "Oh shit, what I meant to say was a... She can sleep In my bed! Not with me of course I'll just sleep on the couch!" I started giggling at his distress and even Darry and Pony started chuckling.

"Thanks Soda" I said softly and reached over to squeeze his hand. He smiled sheepishly at me but his eyes still twinkled. He gave me some extra clothes and I quickly changed in their bathroom. When I put the shirt on, I sighed at how soft it was. It smelled like him. Like cigarettes, gasoline and cologne. I smiled and started looking for some pants. But couldn't find any. _Oh no._ I thought to myself. He must've forgotten! Ya, he wouldn't forget pants on purpose... Would he? I brushed the question aside and cracked open the door. I looked around to see if anybody was there but felt my face fall when I saw Soda standing by the door waiting for me. _What am I gonna do!_! I thought. His plaid button up shirt was big enough to cover my upper body and past my thighs a little. But other then that I was bare. I sighed and realized I had no choice then to confront Soda like this. I opened the door slowly and walked out. Soda looked at me then smiled. His eyes then immediately landed on my bare legs and stared.

I smiled a little liking the thought of him noticing me but I cleared my throat trying to get his attention. He eyes snapped right back up and he started blushing realizing what he had done. "You forgot to give me pants" I said while giggling at how red he was. "Oh really! Crap! Sorry I'll go get one of Pony's extra track pants" he starts making his way to their room Two-bit comes and whistle at me. "By golly if I'd known you had legs like those Joey!" He puts his hand around me again and I couldn't help at his fail attempt at flirting with me. "You know, you should laugh more. I like the sound of it." He says grinning like a dope at me. "Whenever you tag along with Steven you don't say much as a hi!" I close my mouth to stop giggling but Two-bit fake pouts and starts tickling my sides. "No! Stop it! Please!" I start squirming and and luaghing hysterically he keeps tickling my sides and then I try to run away I only make it to the living room before he attacks me again. "Tickle tickle!" He laughs and I laugh louder. I look over and see Soda with a blank expression on his face. But when I saw his eyes I could hint...jealousy!" Soda was jealous! I then reach my hand to him and say "Soda! Help me!" He smiles and comes over. "Alright Two-bit, cut it out. She needs to get some sleep. Don't you need to go back home?" Two-bit them rubs his hand behind his neck and says "ya it's getting late maybe I should be getting home" he then smiles mischievously and tries to grab my sides but I squeal and hide behind soda. "No more tickling for me!"

* * *

Wow okay that was a long chapter! Woohoo 2 chapters one one day! reviews are greatly appreciated! Thanks! :)


	6. Chapter 6

_I can't breath!_

_I can't breath!_

_Help me!_

_Something is grabbing my neck_

_I can't breath!_

_Help!_

_Please!_

"Steven!" I yell frantically. I snap my eyes open and I sit straight up with a I gasp. I instinctively grab my neck and breath heavily. My vision is blurred and I blink a couple times and it gets cleared. I look around at my surroundings and I recognize it. I'm at Sodas house. Memories from last night pop in my head and I remember what I was doing her. The blankets are a tangled mess and they feel dank. I run my clammy hand through my damp hair and try to calm myself down. I'm soaking with sweat yet I felt like I was in the Arctic.

I pull my knees to my chest and start rocking back and forth. My breathing becomes heavier and desperate as I gulp down more air. My hands start shaking and and I start sweating more. If I don't calm down soon I'm going to have a horrible panic attack. I want Steven here to help me like he always does every morning. I just want my big brother to hold me and tell me everything is okay. My eyes start to water and I let out a shaky breath.

I try to do what Steven tells me to do whenever I wake up from another nightmare.

_Breath in_

_Breath out_

_Breath in _

_Breath out_

Five minutes later I finally calm myself down and my breathing returns to normal. I look around the room and take in my surroundings. The curtains are still down but the sun is shining through. There's a bed next to mine and I'm pretty sure it's Ponyboy's. It's neatly made and I decide to get up and fix the bed I slept on. Both beds have the same brown headboard but different blankets. There's a small desk under the window with some books and notebooks. By the desk is a bookshelf filled with books. I smirk and think _Ponyboy_.

When I finish making the bed I grab my clothes and sneak of to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror and cringe at my appearance. Let me put it in simple terms. I look like shit. My damp brown hair is a mess with tangles and knots everywhere. There are dark bags under my green eyes. My skin looks super pale and sickly under the bathrooms fluorescent light. I turn on the sink put my hands under it and splash my face with it hopping it'll do something about my skin. I try my best to comb my unruly tangles with my fingers but it's almost hopeless.

I sigh in defeat and just put it up in a loose ponytail with a hair tie I had around my wrist. I change into my clothes from yesterday and walk out the bathroom. When I get to the bottom of the stairs I see a everyone sitting around the living room. This time there's two new people sitting on the couch. one is super tall and already has a beer in his hand. His shaggy blonde hair reaches his neck and covers a bit of his piercing blue eyes. The kid next to him looks like a lost small puppy. His brown hair is greased back but some falls to the side of his face. His brown eyes look sad and lost but his expression is emotionless. There where some nasty bruises and cuts on his face and felt sorry for him even though I don't really know him. I think their names are Dally and Johnny. Ya that's right!.

I heard a lot about Dallas Winston. How could you not! The kid was a walking crime magnet. And his appearance didn't really help. When I was a kid my momma would tell me not to "judge a book by its cover". I've tried to live by that rule ever since she left us. It's pretty hard especially when you hear a lot of shit about people. So I decided to push away all the gossip I heard about Dally and decide to judge him when and if I talk to him.

The T.V is turned on to Mickey Mouse laughing and talking with his friends. I snicker to the the thought of grown men watching a kids show when Everyone snapped their attention to me. I started blushing and waved awkwardly. Soda immediately smiled and went by my side

"G'mornin' Joey, how'd ya sleep" he asks me. He starts pulling my hand and motions for me to sit on the couch. "Fine thank you" I lied. All I had where nightmares that night. He sits next to me. "That's good" he tells me. He then turn his direction to Dally and Johnny. "You guys meet?" He asks. "Ya I know em. I'm not new Soda, I do hang out with you guys sometimes with Steven" I smirk at him. He laughs and smacks his head playfully "pffffft right! My bad" he says with a funny face. I couldn't help but laugh and two-bit looks at me from the floor with a toothy grin. "There's that laugh I know and love" he says.

I glance over to see Dally and he's givin me this hard look. Like he's studying me or somethin'. I give him an awkward smile but quickly look away feeling uncomfortable. A bit later Darry pops his head from the kitchen and tells everyone there's breakfast if they want. A moment after my stomach growls telling me how hungry I was and Darry chuckles. "Perfect timing" Two-bit laughs. I give him an annoyed look and playfully punch him in the arm. He just laughs more and pretends to be hurt.

Of course being the boys that they are they all go and start grabbing food. There was pancakes, bacon, and eggs. The smell was drool worthy. I grab a plate and fill it with food. I tell Darry thanks and make my way to the living room where everyone else was. I observe them before I make my way back to my spot on the old brown couch. Two-bit, steve, Soda, and Dally where watching the television some where on the floor couch or standing up leaning against the wall. Pony was gonna shove a fork full of eggs in his mouth but stopped mid way at something he was reading from his book. Johnny looked like he was watching the t.v but his eyes said he was somewhere else. Dally ruffled his hair and stole a pancake and it looked like Johnny didn't mind out punched him lightly in the side. Steve then said something to Soda and he started cracking up. They looked like a family. Weird and different. But still a Family

I sat in "my spot" next to Soda and happily munched away on my fluffy yellow eggs and soft thick pancakes while watching Mickie and his friends go to the beach

* * *

After breakfast, Soda and I piled into his truck and drove to the DX. Steve went in a separate car a while later after us. When we pulled into the gas station I looked for my brothers white rusty truck but couldn't find it. "That's strange" Soda said beside me. "Steven must not me here yet. The shops not even open" he said. Steven always got to the DX first and opened the shop. But this time, Soda did. "I'm sure he'll be here soon. He probably woke up late today on accident" I smile reassuringly at Soda.

We both hop out the truck and walk to the convenience store. Soda walks in and opens it up and I sit on a bench outside. I start swinging my feet and fiddle with a loose thread on my shirt. I hear a car pull up and look up with a small smile. But it falls when I see it's just Steve. He parks his car and walks over to open the garage. He nods to me as a hi and walks in. I sigh and look back down to the loose thread. The sun was already up and it started getting a little hot. I felt the bottom of my skirt start to get moist from sweat. I decided to kill time and took out a book from my bag.

I finished the book an hour later and still no Steven. I truly started to get worried and tapped my fingers on the bench. Soda walks out from the store to fill up a cars gasoline. But when he looked in my direction he stopped and his eyes fill with concern and surprise. "Stevens not here?" He asks. I shake my head and look down at my swinging feet. Stevens not here. "I'm sure he just got held up or something". He goes and fills up the car waiting for him. He walks back to sit with me on the bench and there's an awkward silence. What am I supposed to say. "_Oh ya he's not here cuz he got the shit beat out of him last night and it's my fault"._

"You alright Joey?" He asks breaking the silence Concern filling his voice. "You look kinda sad" he continued. I just shrug not wanting to talk and continue looking down. "Y'know you can talk to me about anything, and I won't tell nobody" he says touching my shoulder. I flinch and internally wince when he jerks his hand away. I look up and his eyes look a little hurt. I can't help myself. I don't like it when people touch me. I have my reasons. " look I gotta go back in... I'll see ya later alright Joey" he says a little cold and walks away.

Another hour passes by and still no Steven. Sodapop comes in and out of the store but doesn't so much as wave to me. Suddenly a car squeals in and parks itself . A door slams and I hear a girl crying. I look up and see Linda running up to me with giant tears In her eyes. I start feeling sick to my stomach and I wonder what horrible thing happened for her to break out in tears.

"Oh my god Joey I've been looking everywhere for you!" Her tear streaked face is red and her blonde curls are a mess. "Why! what happened?" I ask and I feel my face start to burn up. A million things run through my mind but I ignore them and try understand Linda. But she's just s blubbering mess. She starts sobbing and I hug her and try to calm her down. "You have to calm down Linda you're starting to get me really worried!" I tell her. She pulls away and looks up at me with big blue eyes. "Oh God Joe! Oh God, oh god, oh god!" She wails "I'm so sorry Joe! I'm so so sorry!" She starts crying again but I don't let her. I get up and give her an angry glare. "What happened Linda!" I yell impatiently. "He's dead Joe! He's dead!" She yells. My throat suddenly gets dry and my head starts feeling dizzy. "Who's dead Linda" I ask quietly, my voice just above a whisper. I can barely hear my own voice it's so quiet.

She looks up to me with a heart breaking look and her eyes are big with sorrow and tears.

"Steven dead Joe, Stevens dead."


	7. Chapter 7

Once, when I was ten years old and Steven was fourteen, I went to the annual carnival that happens every summer in July. There were games, rides, food, music, and it was just pure fun.

When my mother told my brother Steven to take me, because she couldn't,( she was real sick at the time) he just about threw a fit ever. He was said how he don't wanna take no little girl, how it makes him look like a wuss, what'll his best friend Michael think. That he ain't no babysitter. But my momma just wasn't having it.

"_You are taking your baby sister Steven Joseph Hastings and that's final!" _

_My brother was mad but he still took me._

We got to the carnival and met up with Michael by the carnival games. My brother wanted to play the games with the guns but I wanted to play the ring toss one.

_"No Joey, we ain't playing that one! It's stupid! That's why we're gonna play the one with the guns!"_

_"But Steven!"_

_"Quit your whinings and stop actin like a baby" _

I huffed and crossed my arms but followed them to the gun game. After that we went on some fun rides, ate cotton candy and went on the Ferris wheel. I had the best time even if my brother didn't want me there.

Before we went back home Steven and Michael wanted to go in the Maze of Mirrors. I didn't want to go in because I thought it was scary. But I still went for Stevens sake.

_"Just promise me you'll be by my side the whole time alright Steven!" _

_"Alright, alright I'll be with you" he snickered_

We went in and tried making our way through it. It was dark and there were only a couple lights. Once, Michael banged his head on a mirror but they both started cracking up. Almost halfway through the maze Steven thought it would be funny to pull a prank on me and leave me alone.

"_Alright Joe I got a surprise for you"_

_"Really Steven!"_

_"Sure sure! Now close your eyes and count to twenty, then open them and you'll have your surprise!" _

Being the naive child I was, I closed my eyes and started counting. I was jumping on the balls of my feet by the time I reached twenty. I snapped my eyes wide open and smiled big.

Nobody was there. It was empty. I was alone. He had left me.

"_Steven... Steven.. Where are you Steven_!"

I looked for for what seemed like forever but I couldn't find them. Soon I got lost and gave up. I slumped down and wrapped my arms around my knees. That's when I started hyperventilating and my hands started shaking.

To make things worse the bully of my grade ,Donald, found me and started laughing at me. He and his friends started calling me names and he even kicked me sometimes. I started crying big fat tears and their taunting's got even worse

I cried out for Steven and closed my eyes.

"_Steven! Steven! Help me please! Steven!_"

I heard some running and and opened my eyes. Steven had Donald my the color and was yelling at his face. Micheal also had some kid by the neck and was giving him a look that could cut through ice.

"_You leave my baby sister alone ya hear! I don't ever want to see you around her again! If you so as look at her I'll make sure to beat the crap outta you!" _

Donald started crying and my brother let go of him with a push. Him and his friends ran away like scaredy cats. I never felt so proud of my big brother then this moment.

Steven then came down to me and hugged me. I cried for a bit and held on to him.

_" I'm so sorry Joey. Please forgive me." _

_"I forgive you Steven"_

_"I won't ever leave you alone again alright!"_

_"You promise" I hiccuped_

_"I promise"_

Steven managed to keep his promise since then. He never left me. He was there to hold me when a awoke from my nightmares. He was there to calm me down during my panic attacks. He kept his promise.

Untill now.

* * *

"Joey! Joey! Joey look at me! Please Joey say something!"

Someone's yelling at my face. _Please shut up._ They grab my face and look at me with big blue frantic eyes. "Joey snap out of it please!" I look at them. _Linda_. Hey, I know Linda. She's my best friend.

"Stop yelling at my face please" I tell her. She looks shocked and almost angry. "Why are you so calm!" She tells me. "What are you talking about" I give her an annoyed glare. now she looks pissed. "What the fuck do you mean 'what am I talking about', didn't you hear what I just said!"

I clench my fists on my skirt and my face and neck go hot. It's getting difficult to breath.

"What" I ask my voice just above a whisper.

"I said... Steven... Is... Dead..." She says her face red with anger and fresh tears start pouring down her face.

Suddenly, an ear piercing scream comes out of nowhere and it hurts my ears. I cover my ears. Linda takes a couple steps back and her face looks scared and worried. I squeeze my eye shut and crouch down on my knees. _Shut up_! I think to myself. It's so loud and I want it to go away. But it doesn't.

I immediately realize... It's me...it's me who's making that sound... I'm screaming.

I feel someone grab my arms but I don't stop screaming.

"STEVEN! STEVEN! STEVEN YOU PROMISED ME! YOU PROMISED ME!" I don't realize I'm sobbing until they brush away my tears and hold me. They grab the back of my neck and press it against their chest. An overwhelming smell of cigarettes, gasoline, and cologne fill up my nostrils and soothes me somewhat. He strokes my hair with one hand and presses the other hand against my back.

I clench my shaking hands to his red plaid shirt and continue to sob. "He's dead! He's dead! He's dead" I cry to his chest repeatedly. "I know Joey... I know" he whispers to my hair. I feel his tears fall on my head but I don't care.

_He's dead._

* * *

Sorry

- Lucy


	8. Chapter 8

_I don't want you to leave_

_Will you hold my hand_

_Oh won't you_

_Stay with me?_

_Cause your all I need_

* * *

_Four months later_

_"Joey"_

_"Joey!" _

I snap back to reality and look over to the person calling me. Ponyboy has a worried expression on his face and is standing a few feet in front of me. His grayish green eyes look at me with concern and sympathy and I hate it. He walks over to the empty swing by me and sit on it. He stuffs his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket swings his feet a bit.

I ignore him and look at the view in front of me.

Besides the swing there is a slide and some monkey bars. There's also a jungle gym besides them. The red paint on the jungle gym has started to chip off showing the metal underneath. It was starting to rust.

I don't really remember coming to the park. I just remember walking out to school having no destination in particular but still ending up here. A cold November breeze picks up and moves the empty swings by me. Loose Leafs scatter across the street and land nowhere. My fingers started to get cold under my white gloves so I put them in my pockets.

"Are you alright?" He asks looking nowhere in particular. He lights a cigarette and places it between his mouth. I almost want to scoff and roll my eyes at how typical and over rated that question is. "_Haven't heard that one_" I snicker to myself. Instead I just shrug my shoulders swing my feet a bit. The swing under neath me starts moving slightly at my motion. I swing my feet faster and harder until I'm high up in the air and the cold wind whips my hair. It stings my nose and ears but I don't stop.

My light green knitted hat falls of my head and Pony gets up from the swing to pick it up from the ground. My brown curls fly everywhere to the point were I can't even see anything. I look up to the cold, light grey November sky and breath in the air. It's like I'm flying. I almost want to laugh at how free and liberated I feel but I don't. I can't. I think I forgot how. I dig my heels to the wood chips and stop swinging. Pony gives me back my hat and I put it back on my head.

"I didn't see you at math again yesterday so I figured you ditched again" he says. I don't say anything back. "I got today's homework if you want it. But I don't have it with me right now, it's at my house" he continues. I get up from the swing and start walking away. I turn around and look to see if he followed me. He's still at the swing with a confused and hurt expression on his face. I cross my arms and lean my on my right leg. I cock my head to the side and frown slightly. Realization hits him and he runs toward me.

He starts blushing and says sorry but all I do is roll my eyes at him. We start walking down the empty street towards his house. I pray in my mind that we don't get jumped on our way to his house. At some point he drops his smoke on the street and lights it out my smashing his foot on it. He coughs and puts his hands in his pockets and at glances at me. I can feel his gaze boring into me but I ignore him and look straight ahead.

He opens his mouth a couple times wanting to say something but he never does. I finally glance at him for a second but look straight ahead again. "You look like a fish when you do that" I tell him. He almost stops walking and trips a bit but regains his composure. I feel the corner of my mouth twitch.

I look over at him and he smiles. I roll my eyes at him and scoff. "Sorry" is all he can manage to spit out. There's an awkward silence between us and I don't know how to break it. When did things get so cold and awkward between us I ask to myself. _when you shut everyone out after Stevens death _a voice snickers at me inside my head.

We finally get to his house and I freeze at the door. It's been a while since I've been here. Pony's always asking about me and so was Soda... Especially Soda.

I stopped going to the DX and stopped hanging out with him. I just stopped going out with people in general. Not that I had any friends to begin with. I even stopped talking to Linda. She tries to talk to me and asks if I wanna hangout. But I stopped seeing the point in it. I made excuses that I didn't feel good or I had a lot of homework to make up for my ditching. I would even hide from her sometimes. I stopped seeing the point in anything.

I'm either at the park or locked up in my room listening too the radio or reading a book. Soda stops by from work time to time but I never let him in. And when my dads there he just yells for him to get of his porch. I started ditching school a lot and my grades dropped dangerously. I got a good beating when my grades came in for midterms.

Ever since Stevens death my dad put all his anger towards me. One would think he would've stopped but if anything, it just got worse. He would yell at me that it was my fault Steven died. _That my big brother is dead because of me. _

Ponyboy opens the door and looks back at me. "You comin' in" he asks. I bit my lip and nod my head. I walk in after him and the familiar smell of chocolate cake fills my nostrils. It smelled really good. "Just wait here alright" he motions towards the living room. It was cozy with the same run down furniture but it felt empty without the whole gang. I walk in to the living room and stand there awkwardly.

Moments later Soda walks out from the kitchen and with a piece of cake and a fork when he looks up to me and stops dead on his tracks. My heart flutters at the sight of him and I feel myself start to heat up. He looks better then ever. His hair has grown a bit, and chocolate brown eyes make me want to melt in them. "Joey!" he exclaims surprise evident in his voice.

It takes my everything not to run the heck outta there and ask for pony to meet me at the park tomorrow. But I stay there and give him a small wave. He opens his mouth to say something but Pony comes racing down the stairs and gives me the homework. He looks back and forth from me and Soda but doesn't say anything. "Thanks" I tell Ponyboy. He just nods in response.

I turn around and walk for the door when someone exclaims "wait!" And grabs my hand. I flinch, turn around to see my hand connected with Soda's. I starts blushing even harder and look up up at him with wide eyes. "I need to talk to you Joey" he says softly. His pleading eyes look at me to give him a chance.

I don't know what to do. Should I let him talk? Or should I leave? I figure I might as well since I shut the boy out. I sigh and nod to him and the corner of his mouth twitches with a smile. "Let's go for a drive" he tells me. He shoves the plate of chocolate cake to Ponyboy who grabs it and starts eating it gladly. I don't realize he's still holding my hand until he pulls me out the door and to his truck.

I tug my brown pea coat around me and cross my arms around me in his cold truck. Soda turns on the heater and blows into to his hands. "It's colder today than usual" he tells me. I nod in agreement and look out the car window. He drives out of the dirt drive way and goes onto the street.

I look out the window and watch the scenery pass by us. The leaves on the trees where starting to change color telling us that fall was here. Some trees already lost their leaves and looked bare and dark. After some time I ask"Where are we going" still looking outside. When he doesn't answer me I look at him and cock my eyebrow. "Soda" I exclaim to him

He then steers the car to the right and parks it in an empty lot. He turns around quickly and looks me straight in the eye. I gasp softly at how intense his look is. He looks sad and angry but most of all, confused.

"Why Joe" he asks and I tense up when he calls me the nickname that only Steven called me. "What do you mean" I ask. "I...I thought what we had was... I dunno special" he tells me. "And then all of a sudden you just block me out. You stopped talking to me, ignoring me!" His eyes turn to hurt and I just want to hug him and tell him that I was sorry. That I didn't mean to hurt him like this. But I don't. I look away and say nothing. "Say something dammit!" He yells at me. I flinch and I feel like I want to cry. "Look Soda! I'm sorry that I lead you to believe that what we had was... Special... But I assure you I was just trying to be friendly" I tell him.

"Liar!" He yells back. I look at him bewildered. He did not just say that. "What the hell do you mean liar!" I yell back. "My brother just died and you're yelling at me! I cannot fucking believe you Sodapop Curtis!" I feel my eyes start to water and close my eyes to make them go away. "I don't know what to tell you Soda. You were nice to me when I was with Steven and your friends. I thought I could be friends with you! I'm sorry that I blocked you out but you have to under stand" I look at him with pleading eyes. "My brother is dead, and it's my fault" I tell him softly.

I whisper the last part and look away. He looks at me with a shocked confused look. "Your fault?" He scoffs. The tears start falling and I put my head down. I don't want him seeing me like this. "I'm sorry Sodapop. Maybe if my brother wasn't dead we could've been-" I choke on the last part and don't finish. I open the door and start running away.

I hear the door open and slam shut behind . My feet hurt from being to cold and it slows me down a bit. I hear running footsteps behind me and I try to run faster. "Joey wait!" He calls after me and grabs my hand. I yell and try to yank my hand away but he has a death grip on me. He turns me around and pulls me to him.

Before I know what's happening feel a pair of soft lips smash onto mine and start kissing me. I try to pull away but he puts his hand on my back and pushes me closer. I feel the tears running freely down my face and I whimper. "Soda" I try to protest but he just takes it as an invite to shove his tongue in my mouth. At first I freeze not knowing what to do. I've never been kissed before. But Soon I give up and relax and wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him back. One hand holds my face and the other around the crook of my neck.

He starts kissing me softer and more passionately. Before he was hard and rough. Like as if he wanted to make a point. But now his lips softly play with mine. He bits my lip and I moan softly. My moan must have excited him because he depends the kiss. Still soft and passionately, but deeper. My fingers play with his soft brown hair and he runs his hands up and down my sides.

* * *

After a while we run out of breath and he pulls away. He rests his forehead on mine and wraps his hands around my waist. We are both breathing heavily with flushed cheeks and swollen lips. "wow" he breathes out. I lower my hands and rest them on his broad chest. I barely notice how cold it is because all I care about is being wrapped up in the warmth of Soda's arms. I bit my lip and look up at him. His eyes are soft and kind with love and care. "Joey" he whispers my name. His beautiful chocolate brown eyes look deep into my green eyes. I've always loved it when he said my name. But this time it gave me goosebumps. He said it with such love and passion.

"Hmm" I say. He caresses my back and kisses my nose. I smile at him and he smiles even bigger. "I really like you Joe, from the moment I met you. You were the nicest funniest girl I ever met. But you were also a puzzle" he chuckles. " you could be down to earth one minute, and the next talkin' bout how you wish you where in a fantasy world" he grabs my hand and caresses my face. "When I saw you for the first time I thought you were the most beautiful little thing ever." I blush slightly and continue looking at his loving eyes.

"The best part was that you didn't care about being perfect like most girls. You didn't put make up on, you where already naturally pretty. And I hated how you didn't think so. I wanted to be able to be the one who made you see just how precious and beautiful you where. I loved how you smiled at me when you saw me. When ever I saw you, you had a sad heartbreaking look in your eye, and I wanted to be the one to fix whatever problems you had. Or at least be there for you in the toughest times." He stopped and kissed my lips again. He looked at me again and smiled. "Soda" I gasped slightly. No ones ever told me something like that. I always thought I wasn't pretty and not worth anybody's time.

But then I thought about my secret life back home. I didn't want to drag soda into it and I started pulling away. "Soda I... There's some things you don't know and..." I didn't finish and I looked away. "What'dya mean Joe" he asked concern filling his voice. "I don't know how to tell you this...I'm so sorry Soda... I appreciate everything you've done for me but I don't think I can do this." I whisper. I look up at him and he looked hurt. "Why" he asked curtly. "Because there are some things better left not knowing" I look at him with pleading eyes to make him understand.

"No... I'm not taking that as an answer!" He said me. he reaches up to grab me but I take a step back. " I truly wish I could have this with you but I can't soda! It hurts me so much to leave like this but it can't be anymore than this!"

He ignored everything I said and grabbed my shoulder and looked me straight in the eye " liar" he said. I throw my hands up in the air and scoff " again with that!" I tell him. He stares into my eyes and says "After some time of meeting you I noticed some bruises you had. On your arms and face. And then there were cuts. You would always say it was because you were clumsy but I knew something was up. I knew someone did those to you but I didn't want to confront you about it. I was a coward and I regret that"

"One time, when I went to visit you last month I heard someone yelling and hitting you outside your house. That's all I had to hear. That was my answer" I start to tremble and take a step back. I start shaking my head no and my breathing gets shaky. "No! You've got it all wrong Soda!" I start to tell him but he cuts me off "for the love of God will you please just be honest and tell me the truth!"

I look down at my feet in shame and know there is no point in hiding it. He knows already and I have to tell him the truth. I look up to him and say softly "okay" he gives me a small smile and embraces me. I breath him in and enjoy this moment.

I pull away though and hold his hand. "You have to give me sometime though, This isn't going to be easy. So all I ask is for you to be patient" I tell him sincerely. He makes an x-motion over his chest and says "cross my heart"

* * *

When I get home I flop on my bed and smile into my pillow. I can't believe that happened! I think to myself. I start giggling like a girly girl as I think about our kiss. I walk up to my drawers to pick some pajamas for the night mad look at myself in my mirror. I barely recognize my self. My lips are red and swollen making them look fuller then they actually are, my skin is still pale but looks a little vibrant. And my once dull but now twinkling green eyes have a faraway dreamy look. I look like a girl in love.

* * *

**wow! That was just... Overwhelming to write! There's still more to come! Stick around :) **

**-Lucy 3**


	9. Authors note

**Hi guys! I'm so sorry I haven't been able to update in forever! I have just been so busy lately. My schedule is packed. I hope to be able to update ASAP! Thanks for your support and stay awesome! **

**-Lucy :)**


	10. Chapter 10

The cold December wind whipped my face making me shiver. I tugged my brown pea coat closer and knelt down. I set down the beautiful bouquet of white roses on the small patch of grass. It was starting to turn yellow due to the winter cold. I felt a hot tear fall down my cheek and I brushed it away. The grey frosted tombstone read _Steven Joseph Hastings, Loving Son and Brother, May He Rest In Peace._

"Hi Steven" I said quietly. "I'm sorry I haven't been able to visit as much. I've just been so busy trying to make up homework and tests. I'm sorry"

I settled my hand at the top corner of the tombstone and started stroking it.

"I miss you so much Steven. Everyday." I choke up and start to feel more hot tears slide down my pale face.

Stevens funeral was held a month after his death. Murder, I should say. After the fight with the sick bastard of my dad, he ran out to go look for me. They found him the next morning crumbled in the middle of the street. It was a hit and run from a drunk soc. Linda broke up with Randell soon after.

The funeral was short with few people. Some of the greasers were there to pay their respects. Soda was there to hold me as I cried.

The sound of an old truck awoke me from my thoughts. I got up and brushed the dirt from my pants.

"Joey?" A voice said.

I turned around and met his brown worried eyes. He wore a brown leather jacket with a red plaid shirt underneath. He starts walking towards me and immediately wrapped his hands around me. I clench my hands and grab hold of his jacket in fear that I will crumble down.

"I thought I'd find you here" he said. I cried a bit more in his arms before I pulled away. I felt something cold on my head and looked up. White flecks of snow started to fall on my face.

I could see my breath as I opened my mouth and stuck out my tongue. Sodapop chuckled and did the same thing.

"Do you feel better now?" He asked me. I gave him a small smile nodded my head. He smiled back and kissed my nose. I scrunched my face up. "Good" he said when he pulled back.

I still couldn't believe that Sodapop Curtis, the boy of every girl in my high school dreams was mine. It felt like I was living a dream. At some points it felt like a nightmare. But moments like these made me want to never wake up.

"Let's go back before we both catch a cold alright?" He said.

We hopped in his rusty pick up truck and drove back home. I had taken shelter at the Curtis home ever since Soda found out about my life back home. It had taken a lot of courage and time before I _slowly_ opened up to him.

He was heart broken and pissed about the way I was treated by my father and it took everything I had to stop him from storming out and whopping my old man in the face.

I had also started talking with Linda again. She was sad, confused and hurt as to why I pushed her out of my life for almost five months but it took her time before she truly understood what I was going through.

I would lie if I said that everything went back to normal again because nothing did. Everything was upside down and broken. Just like my heart.

But slowly, with a lot of time, it was starting to patch up. Not perfect, but close to normal.

* * *

I pressed my nose against the cold window and watched the soft white snow fall down the white frosted grass. My breath fogged up the window as I marveled at the beautiful sight. I had always loved the first snow. The sight of it always left me breathless. I stayed there for a while before I felt a strong pair of arms wrap around my waist.

He hugged me and I smiled a bit. I could feel his hot breath against the back of my neck. Goosebumps started to pop up and down my arms.

"Aren't you cold" he asked against my a brown hair.

"Nope" I said popping the "p"

"I made us hot chocolate" he spun me around and I laughed. He kissed my nose gently. He made a trail of soft, warm, gentle kisses down to my lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck and ran my hands through his soft brown hair on the back of his head.

He grabbed my face with one hand and stoked my chin with the other. He deepened the kiss making me moan a bit and he took it as an invitation to pop his tongue inside mine.

To be honest, that made me a bit uncomfortable. I never really liked it because it made me feel squirmy. I never told him though because I knew how much he like it.

I decided to take a huge risk and bit his bottom lip with my teeth. It got me a deep grumble and a moan from Soda. I smirked inwardly and did it again.

"Oh fuck Joey, if you keep doing that I won't be able to keep my composer" he growled.

_"If you keep doing that I won't be able to hold the puke in my mouth"_ a voice said out if nowhere.

We both quickly untangled from one another and watched the boys walk in one by one. Steve was the one who said that and I felt myself start to blush all shades of Red in the 90 pack crayon a box.

"Woooooeeee that was quite a show you two had there" Two-Bit said with with a smirk on his face.

"Shut up Steve. And you to Two-Butt" Soda said with an angry frown on his face. I saw Ponyboy with a blush across his face when our eyes met.

I felt bad about the way I had treated Pony with a cold shoulder a couple months ago and I try to make it up to him by being more nice to him. Pony was a really good guy and I hoped he would find someone special like I did. Right now he's kinda young, but still. "Hi Pony" I said with a small smile and wave.

"Hiya Joey" he said. He took of his leather jacket and tossed it on the couch. But Darry immediately told him to "get that thing off the couch and hang it in the closet". After a bit more teasings from Steve and "Two-Butt" I made my way to the kitchen and poured hot chocolate in six mugs.

"Come get your hot chocolate guys!" I yelled from the kitchen. Being the hungry animals they were, they scrambled to the kitchen and took a mug. I grabbed a mug of my own and snug my way next to Soda on the couch. Two-bit had turned the T.V to once again, Mickey Mouse. As the theme started Two-bit started singing along the the tune. Everyone groaned or rolled their eyes. I laughed and started singing to along with him.

When it finished we all laughed and I turned to Soda who was chuckling and looking at me with warmth in his chocolate brown eyes

"I didn't know you could sing?" He laughed out. I rolled my eyes and punched him playfully in the arm.

"Shut up" I said with with a shy smile. He pretended to be hurt and poured his lips. I giggled and kissed his cheek.

A couple minutes later Dallas and Johnny came in. I gave them both hot chocolate to warm up and snuggled my way back with Soda. It wasn't till I lay my head on his shoulder that I realized I was exhausted. My eyelids felt droopy and they slowly fluttered closed.

Before I fell into an abyss of dreams, I remembered something very important.

_Today was Stevens Birthday_


End file.
